Buenos Aires reviewed

So, we got the bright idea to write our own reviews for some Hostels, Restaurant and Activities we've enjoyed (or not) while in Buenos Aires, just to put that Lonely Planet rag to shame. Dallé!

CHEZ LULU
Beware of anyplace that refers to itself as "trendy" in its literature. It will cost you. No, this place was nice, if a bit pricey. Really we ended up there out of laziness to carry our stuff any further on the first day we were in town. We realized the higher rates were based on its location- a quiet sidestreet in Palermo that no one drives down, as well as ammenities such as a good breakfast in the morning with real coffee, and a chocolate on your pillow. We only stayed one night. (emerson)
Chez Lulu was tres trendy. it was nice having our own room though, and the breakfast was definitely posh by "breakfast included" Bs. As. standards. we had real fresh squeezed juego de naranja and croissant and pan dulce as opposed to croutons lubricated with dulce de leche that take chunks out of the roof of your mouth when you try to eat them, washed down with some lukewarm tang, traditional hostel fare... (genevieve)
CASA BUENOS AIRES
Sebastian at Casa Buenos Aires is a high strung, very friendly chap. He's got two of Palermo Viejo's best hostels under his control. Both Casa Buenos Aires 1 and 2 are clean and quiet with the latter having a better location and a really fancy interior. We stayed there and it was like living in the Real World house without all the whiny Americans. Its a bit pricier than other hostals, but we would have stayed if we hadn't been kicked out. Reserve early as apparently getting a space there is quite contentious. (emerson)
Yeah, sebastian was pretty rad. he was intensely caffeinated i suspect... (genevieve)
CASA FITZROY
This hostel was kind of lame. not the hostel itself, the owners were really very nice and accommodating, but we has the most obnoxious roommates in our dorm, two swedish girls who got really wasted every night and then hung out all day in the hostel in their underwear... i know what you´re thinking guys, but seriously, they were gnarly. there was this one guy who bunked with us who was pretty cool though. he just slept all day. he was always asleep in the room. when we were checking out i finally saw him on the couch in the lobby and i was a little bummed out, you know, i wanted to remember him like he was--always sleeping. but then to my delight i noticed that he was on the couch with a book, but he wasn´t reading it, he had nodded off and was gently snoring like a babe. (genevieve)
HOSTEL CLAN
It may be scruffier, louder, and drunker than other hostels, but this is our favorite place in Buenos Aires so far. Walking in I thought it was actually a punkhouse that they had just started charging for. Between Nacho, Nela, Veronica and the others, the staff is an attractive and likeable bunch, and they are often the cause of more after-hours noise, broken bottles and broken rules than the guests. Theres a good cross-section of nationalities and languages, and everyone seems to get along and all go out together to clubs at night and on field trips during the day. If you stay a week you can get a free haircut from the tattooed Dutch punk girls that live there, and the signature "Hostel Clan" two-toned freaky haircut can be recognized all over the country. I would recommend The Clan over the much-more-famous Millhouse Hostel around the corner any day (without ever having stayed there, of course.. just on principle). (emerson)
Hostel clan is definitely the coolest place to stay in buenos aires. the employees are so rad with solid good-style points all around. not to mention we were graced with awesome fellow travellers on our stay... the one-man-band from germany who performed a delightfully un-ironic rendition of "genie in a bottle" in the lobby with a harmonica solo at the end. and there was benton--from conneticut, our late-nite conversationalist/ping pong partner. and danny and nick--a really great couple from australia. and of course the european hairstylist twins who gave emerson and me free haircuts, and who every boy i know back home would be smitten with. we hope to run into them all further along in out travels, we will be staying at hostel clan for another week in early march. (genevieve)
BIO
I love bio. we went there with georgia and we both got way too excited about seeing tofu on the menu. the food was amazing, the best vegetarian in buenos aires. orange glazed tofu with sage, roasted squash and "zanahoria", (carrots--but zanahoria sounds so much better), warm arugala salad with grilled vegetables and caramelly chantrelle mushrooms. coconut rice with raisins and almonds, and peach cobbler with ginger ice cream... service is typical buenos aires--not so hot but friendly enough that you forgive the wait. the place is relaxing with high ceilings and wooden tables--when you sit down they bring you a shot of ginger lemon juice. yum! go to bio! (genevieve)
GRANIX
On the second floor of a shopping center on the consumer clusterfuck of Ave. de Florida is an unlikely thing- a giant all-you-can eat vegetarian buffet. Its surprisingly popular with the lunch hour crowd. For 16 pesos you get a bunch of choices of mains, starch, a big salad bar, juices and desserts. Bring some hot sauce, though- most of food tends toward the bland. And some vinegar for the salad bar, as all we could find was lemon juice. At Granix you will see quite a few health conscious folks as well as some probably just there on orders from their doctor to lay off the Lomos. One portly porteno sitting next to us must have macked 7 milanesas de soya while we were sitting there. We were like "Dude, it's not necessarily healthy just because it didn't die in pain." And he was like "I know, I just love to eat!" Then we all got desserts.
(Warning- Stories in reviews are not true) (emerson)
The first time we went to granix i gave it a solid 8 out of 10--if only for the place´s mind boggling randomness... pizza with "golf sauce", (a mixture of ketchup and mayonaise--they love it here) in place of tomato sauce, curried crustless quiche with lots of lemon juice, delicious mashed butternut squash with maple syrup, pastry, and cheese--like a grilled cheese sandwich made by your friend´s stoned hippie-mom. chocolate mousse with a raspberry jello garnish... random, random, random. the second time we went the rating slipped to a 5. the novelty had worn a bit thin... just because there´s a lot of it doesn´t make it appetizing... but argentines love their tenedor libre. pasta, rice, milanesa de soja, pizza, cabbage soup... we were ready to try them all. unfortunately we went near to closing, so we were encouraged to go up and get three plates at a time so that the staff, who were all dressed like nurses, could break down the buffet. we loaded up against our better judgement and left feeling ill. (genevieve)
EL EXOTICO DE MONSERRAT
El exotico is the coolest place to eat if you´re a business man or woman and are forced to find lunch downtown--good food, which is not in abundance in the 9 de julio/plaza de mayo area. they have excellent lunch specials with an entree, coffee, and drink for 12-13 pesos, (around $4 u.s.). i also enjoyed the "ensalada macrobioteca" which was absolutely un-macrobiotic by virtue of the presence of tomatoes, but still topped with fresh soybeans, and therefore a welcome source of protein for me. free internet and good coffee too. (genevieve)
MUNDO BIZARRO
Painfully hip Palermo bar Mundo Bizarro serves authentic Sushi on Monday nights. Get there early as the place turns into a fire hazard around midnight. The interior is all red and black L.A. kitch, and the menus look like an old Mans Ruin record catalog. They were playing Calexico when we arrived, then they moved into Nu-soul and downtempo hip hop. There was something about listening to a Talib Kwali remix while eating a Salmon roll... i fell into a kind of trance. (emerson)
They were playing calexico! not los ochientas! it is so great to hear soulful contemporary music. my ears were hungry for it. plus they made me the most amazing mushroom ngiri. (genevieve)
GREEN BAMBOO
Green bamboo is so swanky-cool. we went here twice, once with georgia and the second time with our friends daniel and vince. the interior is dimly-lit and broadly "asian-themed" with a big poster of uncle ho, chinese dolls and lanterns, thai buddhas, and a painting of a hindu goddess behind the bar. i had the same thing both times--spicy vegetable curry with jasmin rice. the second time we went there we all fell in love with our beautiful waitress. she had been to the u.s. once, only to miami and nueva york--"chopping, chopping, chopping", she explained. if you go, please order the banana caramel cloud thing it will change the way you feel about desert. (genevieve)
EL GAUCHO
El Gaucho is one of dozens of interchangable tourist trap restaurants on the pedestrian mall near the obelisk. The atmosphere is horrendous, the service is reproachable, and you´ll be surrounded by families on vacation and some Argentines from the country who don't know better. It's like eating in times square. Despite all this, for 6 pesos 30 (about 2 dollars) you can get a steak and mashed potato dinner which is really quite fine. If you eat all the bread in the basket and the complimentary empanada, you are styling. (emerson)
El gaucho tricks you by luring you in with the promise of $2 steak and then charging $5-$9 for everything else on the menu including pasta. they also tack on a $1 per person "table service" charge that is not a tip. does anyone know who gets the "table service" charge? certainly not our hella-surly waitress. (genevieve)
FINE ART MUSEUM
The fine art museum is awesome, and the best part is it´s completely free! we went there with our friend daniel who highlighted some amazing paintings and sculptures for us before dashing off to meet friends. one of my favorites was a painting of adam and eve holding abel´s body in their arms, titled "el primer dolor", "the first sorrow". it almost made me cry and i don´t even believe in the garden of eden. there is also a great selection of argentine art on the second floor. the museum is big enough that you can spend hours there, but small enough that you can see everything in one visit. highly reccommended. (genevieve)
FERIA SAN TELMO
I got the most beautiful ring at the market, silver with tourmelated quartz crystal. i swear it is a magic ring. (genevieve)
The San Telmo Feria is good place to look for old records and collectables, unlike most markets around that strictly offer hippie handicrafts and jewlery that I find unpleasant to look at. I guess I´m like that. But make sure to bargain, people will try to squeeze the pesos out of you. While you are there you can go to the cafe on the corner of Etatos Unidos near the market and get a glass of red wine for 2 pesos (65 cents!). (emerson)
FERIA PLAZA CERRANO
Plaza cerrano is an open square with a lot of mediocre overpriced hipster bar/restaurants that are always crowded at night because it is the place to people-watch in palermo. but on saturdays and sundays it is transformed into a hipster fleamarket with all of the bars and restaurants giving retail space to independent clothing and jewelery designers. i was remarkably restrained and did not buy anything. emerson was not so restrained and bought a hand painted iron maiden t-shirt. can you blame him? (genevieve)
Yeah, leave it to me to find the least hip thing available. A handpainted monochrome rendering of the cover of "Powerslave" made by a hessian nerd. A magestic thing really. Aside from that, Plaza Cerrano on the weekends is like walking on to the set of Zoolander. They are playing house remixes of 80s David Bowie and people are reffering to clothes as "Importante". It's hilarious. And every single vendor sells some variant of a Rolling Stones t shirt. Literally, hundreds of different graphics. Who told these people that the Rolling Stones are cool? Did I miss something? (emerson)
CHINATOWN
I love chinatown, the whole 2 block stretch of it in the upscale neighborhood of belgrano. the markets have tofu and chili peppers and rice noodles! and jasmin rice, which is impossible to find in any supermarket! the restaurant we ate at, (we forgot the name), was average by u.s. standards, but we were so happy to have rice and soy-sauce that we totally wolfed our food down like the non-wheat-non-steak-based-ambrosia it was. (genevieve)
The Chinatown in Belgrano is way different that Chinatowns in the US in that it is clean, quiet and rather upscale. The streets don't reek of fish and the markets are clean and well-run. There is a great organic market there with many types of asian condiments and hot sauces. To get there, just take the 58 bus from 9 de Julio, then get off halfway because the driver won't tell you how to get there. Walk around and ask some guy at a street cafe how to get there and he'll tell you that youre in the complete wrong part of town. Take his directions to the subway, but two blocks away he'll chase you down and tell you he told you the wrong stop to get off at. Take the subway there and walk around Belgrano asking for directions. Most people will look at you like you just asked if they liked to sleep with Chinese people and say "No". They are assholes (unlike that guy that chased you down). Walk around for a half hour, getting further away from the Subte station, every time someone tells you it´s 2 block away, assume that its at least 7 blocks away, possibly in the other dirrection. Break down and cry when you finally lay eyes on a Chinese person. At least this is how we got there. (emerson)

next time- Puerto Iguazu